Comment for Aishwarya's Blog post #2

Hey all, i could not post the comment i wrote for aishwarya on her blog so i just posted it here instead:) hope you don't mind!

Hey Aishwarya,
Every one of us has probably faced this issue of not knowing how to tell someone that they are not doing their share of work in a project. And this becomes even harder when the person in question is our friend.
I feel that sometimes when we try to tell people something, they by default will take it in an accusatory manner. Consequentially their approach would be defensive. After this normally the conversation goes nowhere. I thus feel that it is important to tell a person what you feel together with concrete evidence. For instance in your case, perhaps, you could have pointed out to her when she was saying that she did not have time to complete her assignment that she should not have gone out the last night then. While it might not be kind to point this out when she is already stressed but it does hit a nerve and would help her realise that you may just be right. Speaking from experience, I think many a times when your friend may be disagreeing with what you say and defending her point, she could very well be considering that you are right. We usually find it very hard to accept that what we have been saying or doing is wrong. So even though you might feel that your confrontation has had little effect on your friend. You may never know how much your message has impacted your friend on the inside. She could also have tried to better her ways.
Cheers,
Jigna