Blog post #4

In this blog post about evaluating intercultural behaviour, I have chosen to reflect upon one of the many intercultural interactions I have experienced in multi-cultural Singapore. I would like to add that this was actually an isolated incident and I do not base my views of racial harmony on this one incident. I hope that all of you will read the post with an open mind and put yourselves in the shoes of both the characters in the scenario without harbouring any ill feelings towards any of us. :))

Like several other ‘freshies’ I joined one of the many orientation camps organised by the Science faculty. We were divided into groups of 12. My group was made up of 11 Chinese people and 1 Indian person (me!). Don’t take me wrongly, this was a usual situation that we as a minority race faced thus I was completely at home with the idea. The days went on well enough although I faced some situations where I found myself trying to understand Chinese. I could empathise with them as that is their mother tongue which many of them are more comfortable in and even so many of them realised that I was around and apologized for the slip-up.

One day, after a long day, all of us including the seniors gathered to have dinner at a restaurant. I was seated opposite S, perhaps unfortunately. A regular banter started up as we all began eating. S was talking about his NS days when he had to deal with all the feedback of the trainees. Being a naturally emotive speaker he was relating his experiences with much gusto. Eventually he began saying how some Indian trainees came to complain about small issues that according to him could have been ignored. I had a few experiences with such whiny Indians myself so I did not take offense. He then continued to say that all Indians are just like that and that they think that just because they are paying(for instance in a restaurant) they can complain about everything. While he might have had some bad encounters, I did not think it was fair to judge all Indians in the same manner. Now a little rattled I countered saying that even I was Indian so did he think of me that way too? I said it jokingly to keep the conversation light-hearted. He then seemed to realise that I was offended and thus tried to salvage the situation by saying that we (fair-skinned) were different from the dark-skinned Indians. Instead of appeasing me, this statement just made the situation worse. I did not appreciate my race and culture being dissected and judged according to our appearance. I felt it was unnecessary to bring our colour into the conversation. Now thoroughly aggravated I told him that I had seen several Chinese people also complaining and making a fuss about something small. Unable to take an attack on his race, he rebutted immediately saying that this wasn’t true and that Indians were way worse. A heated argument had now ensued with me defending myself by saying that if he wanted to comment about other races he should be able to take it when people do the same. The other group mates surrounding us quickly broke up the argument and told us to relax. Thus the conflict ended right there.

I felt that it was alright if he was just jokingly making a comment about Indians and their whininess but it became too much when he judged all Indians that way without a hint of a smile in his expression. Perhaps his tone might have become to condescending due to his emotive way of speaking or perhaps he has had really bad experiences in the past. When he went on to say that fair-skinned Indians were different from dark-skinned ones, I felt twinge of irritation which he might not have understood. This annoyance had probably stemmed from the fact that in the past few days several people had asked me that how come I was so fair, or what race I was, or if I spoke ‘Indian’ if I was fair. I could not fathom why everyone was so interested in the colour of the skin and why that should relate to any of our other personal qualities. Perhaps the problem in this case was that S had never really had the chance to know about the Indian community and thus he made his judgements based on the bad experiences he had come across and appearance. This was an isolated incident thus my shock in this case intensified my emotions and reactions since I have never really had to deal with a situation like this.

Cheers,
Jigna:))