For Jay's Application Letter

Hey Jay (it rhymes!),
Just some thoughts on application letter.
• I think you should write yours sincerely instead of faithfully since you have written the receiver’s name
• Perhaps you should begin with ‘I am a fresh graduate of Science majoring in Environmental Biology(Hons), since you have not clearly stated your degree
• I think somewhere in the second paragraph you should mention that you have gained a rich academic background through various related modules
• Since I have read your resume, I know you have done a lot of impressive things during your research, like write papers etc and documented new species if I remember correctly. You could add that into your second paragraph.
• ‘Any opportunity to discuss with you possible avenues for candidature at your research laboratory would be much appreciated.’ I feel maybe you should use greatly appreciated or something that sounds more grateful;p
That’s all! :))
Xoxo, Jigna